thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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