Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
