Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
