Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
