Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
