she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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