that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Acid is not a monday night drug
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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