i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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