U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
