dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
