I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
