i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
