we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
