You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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