don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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