i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
