You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
