think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
