Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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