is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
