I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
