Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
