just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
