Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
