You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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