you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
