They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
