if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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