don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
