You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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