Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Enjoy the penises
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
