she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
