My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
