I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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