Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
