I like to think it a success when the cops are called
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
