woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
