I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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