I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
