We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
