This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
