its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
