she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
