just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
