3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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