All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
