it wasn't lemon gatorade
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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