If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
