I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
