i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
