Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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