I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
