you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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